Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I Could be Anywhere, But I'm Right Here

"It's not necessary to go far and wide. I mean, you can really find exciting and inspiring things within your hometown." -Daryl Hannah


It's getting real that I'll be leaving my home soon.  It hits hard.  I wanted nothing more than to leave this place when I was younger.  I wanted to take off and just never come back.  I always thought that I was meant for bigger things and this place was just holding me back.  Now, the closer I get to Mr. Streetlight coming home and leaving looming right behind it I wish I had spent more time enjoying this town. 

I was driving home with my kids the other night.  The fields were tall, and the temperature was perfect.  They were giggling in the backseat while we listened to "Mr. Jones" with the wind blowing everyone's hair around.  It really made me miss home before I've even left.  I didn't even know it was possible to get homesick while still at home.  There are so many memories that my kids will never get to have about this place.  

There's more fun to have here than I would have ever admitted when I was a teenager.  We had to make our own fun.  Maybe it wasn't always legal, but it was mostly harmless shenanigans.  Everything was fair game.  There's a memory in every part of the city, and even more in the tiny town I grew up in.  I've spent four years wanting to move back home to all those memories, and now I have to uproot and leave them.  

What's in front of us is a huge adventure.  I'm looking forward to it, but on the same hand I just want to stay here and keep making memories.  I know once we finally get going it'll be easier to deal with.  It's mostly fear that makes me not want to leave, but I'm sure I'll get over it eventually.  We'll come back as often as possible.  Hopefully, our new home will feel more like home.  It's kind of funny.  I have lived in the same house for four years, but I still don't think of it as "Home."  Any house in my hometown would feel like Home.  It's strange how you spend so much time wishing to get out, but it feels wrong when you leave.

The song I used for my title is called "My City."  The first time I heard it on the radio, it made me cry for some stupid reason.  Maybe it's because I love this place more than I realized at that time.  It's a group of local artists trying to put the place more on the map and make positive changes in the community.  I can come up with a memory for every place they are in their video.  So, to end my little ramble, I'll post the video.


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